Hmm. Hindi ko alam kung pa’no ko isusulat ‘to. I’m really tired, pero baka kasi tamarin na ako bukas o mawala na y’ung ideas kong naisip kanina. My mom and I just went through registration for voters, ako first-time, si Ma parang gan’un na rin since 1980’s pa siya huling bumoto dahil nadisillusion sa gobyerno. Ngayon, according to her, gusto na niyang paglaban ulit y’ung karapatan niyang bumoto because she’s really praying hard for a better government. Hmm. Alam n’yo ba y’ung parable of the persistent widow? Kung hindi, click HERE. Hmm. I have to commend her for her faith. In a very short span of time, one year now I think, God has really transformed her. Of course, there’s still the issue of over-protectiveness, but that’s another story. Sa kanya talaga ko naa-associate y’ung text message na:
I have yet to grow a faith like hers. But anyway, back to the main point of this entry.
So ‘ayun, pumila nga kami for registration sa Quezon City Hall. Really should have left Manila at about 3:00 or 4:00 am, para 5:00 am nakapila na. Ayaw akong paalisin ng parents ko ng madilim though, kasi delikado daw. Hmm. Parents’ instinct, I guess. Oh, well. 6:00 am ako nakaalis ng Manila, 6:30 am ako nakarating ng City Hall. Sina Ma at Da nakarating mga five to ten minutes after me. What happened after was a loooooooooooooooooooong and sloooooooooooooooooooow walk along Gate 5 Street, following through the spaghetti-conformed line for those who belong to District 2 of the city.
STAGE 1. Ang pilang ito ay pag-submit ng requirements (isang photocopy ng valid ID, at NSO birth certificate kung ka-generation ko) para makakuha ng tamang registration form. Umaabot sa kanto ng Kalayaan Avenue y’ung paikot-ikot na loops n’ung pila. Hay. Buti nga gumagalaw-galaw y’ung pila e.
Haha. Walang magawa, nakipag-usap na lang d’un sa mga kasunod sa pila at pinagtatawanan y’ung mga quotable quotes ng mga tao. Haha. Y’ung ibang mga tao bumili na ng photocopied forms (which, by the way, ay bawal ibenta pero p’wedeng ipa-photocopy) para madalian na lang, pero it turned out na kailangan talagang pumila pa rin para matatakan y’ung form. Hmm. Nagdala nga rin pala si Ma ng footstool na plastic para may maupuan. Ako mahihiya akong magdala ng gan’un e, but apparently, my iba ring nagdala ng gan’un, mas malalaking foldable chairs pa nga. Haha.
Isang registration official on a microphone: “Okey! Mga kaibigan, makinig po! ‘Wag po kayo basta-basta magpapa-xerox ng mga forms, at lalong ‘wag bibili d’un sa mga nagsi-xerox. Lalo pong napapatagal sa loob y’ung proseso kasi lahat ng forms n’yo puti, e may iba’t ibang klase ng form tayo d’yan. Isa pa, ‘wag nyo basta-basta fi-fill-up-an y’ung forms n’yo! Hindi ‘yan parang exam na pupunan lahat!”
(Wahahahahaha! Sobrang benta sa’kin n’ung last line n’ya. Hahaha!)
Oh well. Exag din sa haba y’ung pila. Nakakaawa rin y’ung iba, may mga dala pang mga bata, kasi walang mag-aalaga sa bahay. Praise God din talaga na hindi umulan, sobrang konting ambon lang. At y’ung sikat ng araw, tempered pa, hindi y’ung talagang nakasikat all the time, natatakpan pa ng clouds. The day remained cloudy most of the time. Haha. Praise God din talaga for those things. Hmm. ‘Kala ko rin tapos na by lunch time. I even set a schedule para makabalik ng Manila at maasikaso y’ung mga daga para sa research namin. Haha. I was dead wrong. Haha. Nagpabili na lang kami ng lunch kay Da bago siya pumasok ulit sa trabaho, since siya lang sa amin y’ung registered voter na dati pa.
2:30 pm, nakaabot kami sa dulo ng linya, sa isang window d’un. ‘Tapos sabi sa’min District 1 daw y’ung barangay namin!!! Whaaat?! So ‘yun, medyo nagkar’on ng tension pa, pero in the end, na-verify na y’ung requirements namin at nakakuha naman kami ng tamang form. Hmm. So sino nga bang nagsabing District 2 kami in the first place?! Si Da. Wahahahaha! Apparently, he thought our residence was in District 2, and we thought he was sure, so we followed through the line. Kamote. Hahaha. So kasalanan din talaga namin.
Lesson for the day: Magtanong muna lagi kung ano y’ung pinipilahan at kung sa’n dapat pumila, at siguraduhin nang tatlong ulit, bago magtiyagang pumila. Don’t trust anyone else other than the proper and knowledgeable authorities. Haha.
STAGE 2. So after nung pila for registration (mas maikli dapat sana y’ung sa District 1, by the way), pipila ulit for biometrics. ‘Kala ko nga may pangatlong pila pa e, buti na lang wala na. Ito kasi y’ung pila naming kung s’an y’ung part na medyo disillusioning. Ang pila para sa biometrics na ito ay pagpapakuha lang ng picture para sa voter’s ID (na three to five years after pa raw namin makukuha) at pagfi-finger-print at signature record. ‘Tapos magtha-thumb-print sa forms, ‘tapos gugupitin na nila y’ung acknowledgement receipt (yes, for all that trouble before you get there, you get to take home only a strip of paper), ‘tapos p’wede nang umuwi.
So what’s up with the disillusionment? Well, halfway along sa pila for biometrics, biglang bumagal y’ung progress. ‘Tapos may nakarating na balita sa part namin na n’ung simula daw, 20 at a time magpapasok d’un sa area sa may looban (papuntang COMELEC station ng District 1) para i-recheck y’ung forms at magpa-biometrics, pero later daw, 10 at a time na lang daw. Tanong namin, bakit? May mga pumapasok daw na iba kasi na may mga kakilala sa loob! In other words, may mga sumisingit na VIP! What the hell?! Hmm. N’ung una medyo okay na lang rin, ‘kala ko paisa-isa lang, but no, palima-lima or more than that pala, kaya pala sobrang pagong n’ung pila namin. N’ung palapit na kami sa may last turn n’ung pila, may dumating na celebrity, si _e_ __o___ raw. Siyempre nagkandarapa y’ung iba para makita in person. Ako, wala akong pakialam kung sino pa ‘yang artista na ‘yan, maganda siya o hindi, hindi ako aalis sa pila ko’t baka magkawalaan ng place sa pila. Isa pa, wala siyang karapatang sumingit sa pila habang lahat ng fans n’ya ay nagpapakahirap pumila. But no, isa pa siya sa mga hindi pumila at dumiretso na sa loob na may kasamang escorts. Tsk. Great.
But wait, there’s more! Habang nagtatagal, mas maraming mga taga-loob (a.k.a. taga-COMELEC) ang mga lumalabas from their post, ‘tapos bumabalik na may hakot na mga bigating tao. Y’ung mga tipong hindi mukhang pumunta d’un expecting na pipila sila – nakapustura pa, naka-barong o naka-dress at alahas pa, y’ung isa nga raw naka-T-shirt pa na may pangalan ng isang vice-mayor e. Grabe. Nakakapikon! And despite na may mga sumisigaw na from the crowd na naninita, tuloy lang sila nang tuloy papasok. And they expect the people to trust their words, to believe them ‘pag nagka-issue, or worse, to vote for them?! I mean, come on! Kamote. ASA SILA!
Ma: E anong mangyayari sa report n’yo? Kelan magkakaresulta?
Registration Official: Mag-a-aksyon naman po. Binago nap o namin y’ung sistema. Bale bukas po hindi na p’wede magpasingit.
(What?!?! )
Ma: Ha?! E bakit bukas pa? So ibig n’yong sabihin ngayon p’wedeng magpasingit, ‘tapos bukas hindi na?
Registration Official: Opo, pasensya na hò.
(Whaaaaat?!?! )
Ma: Ha?! E bakit gan’un? Hindi ba dapat parusahan o sipain y’ung mga opisyal na nagpapasingit sa pila?
Registration Official: Hindi po kami gan’ung karahas.
Ma: Siyempre ang ibig sabihin ko hindi sipain talaga, pero hindi ba sila p’wedeng i-suspend?
Registration Official: Ang binabago po kasi namin, y’ung sistema.
Ma: Oo nga, okay na baguhin n’yo y’ung sistema, pero hindi ba p’wedeng mag-aksyon ngayon na? Hindi ba p’wedeng at least man lang pigilan na y’ung pagpapapasok ng mga VIP?
Registration Official: Taga-District-2 po kasi ako, hindi ako p’wedeng makialam sa ibang district. May kanya-kanya kasing representative attorney po ‘yan na mag-iinspect.
Ma: Pero bakit ba nakakasingit y’ung mga VIP? Sinong nagdadala sa kanila sa loob, taga-COMELEC?
Registration Official: *silence, then nods curtly*
(Great. Really, really great. Let’s cut it short, shall we? Well, my mom was accompanied by a few others din, pero gan’un din naman y’ung line of thought, medyo hindi ko na lang matandaan whose line is whose. Basically umulit-ulit lang y’ung conversation nang walang na-resolve.)
But wait, there’s more (again, and more irritating, that is)!!! May dumating ulit na celebrity, si __i__ ___e__. Again, siyempre medyo may mga tumiling mga babae. Oh my goodness, who cares?! Kung sisingit lang din siya, wala rin siyang k’wenta. Kamote, pasaway e, garapalang kapasawayan. Tsk. ‘Tapos ‘di, sige, hintay sa pila, ‘Tapos n’ung palabas na siya, at sinalubong na naman siya ng mga tili, sinalubong siya ni Ma.
So ‘yun, after 14 (yes, fourteen) hours of standing (and sitting) in line, by 8:30 pm, nakuha na rin naming ang aming acknowledgement receipt at natapos rin kami. At ngayon ay naihatid na ulit ako sa Manila at nagba-blog kahit madaling araw na.
Ako, hindi ko kaya y’ung confrontational attitude ni Ma, in fact nahihiya ako, pero still… Sori, ewan ko ‘a, pero nairita talaga ako sa mga pasaway na ‘yun. Ewan ko, baka ako lang pala. Haha. Sa tingin n’yo?
Hmm. Actually napaisip talaga ako kanina – why does God choose to fight for these kinds of people? Why does God choose to fight for this country? E lagi na lang disappointing, lagi na lang disillusioning. ‘Tapos naisip ko rin – am I so different? Parang y’ung dialogue lang ni Optimus Prime at ng kanyang mga Autobots sa Transformers 1. Hahaha. Kung hindi n’yo maalala, click HERE, at tingnan ang unang quote. Anyway, oo nga’t hindi ako sumisingit sa pila at nagte-take-advantage of others, pero there are still things I do that displease Him dahil disobedience pa rin, things which I am not proud of, intentionally or unintentionally or out of desperation. Pareho pa rin, sin pa rin. At parang sa labada lang, a speck of ink (whatever color it may be) on supposedly clean clothing is enough to call it blemished, impure, unclean. And God, in His holiness (which by the way, is normal for Him), cannot stand even a hint of sin in His presence. At dahil just God din Siya, may kaparusahan later ang mga kapasawayan ko – eternal death (click Romans 6:23; click Revelations 21:8). So why did Jesus, knowing na isa akong malaking pasaway, still choose to fight for me and die in my place, for my freedom (click Psalm 118:5; click John 8:36)? Well, may sagot ‘yan, at simple lang - because He loves me. Why did Jesus choose to die for all mankind? Gan’un pa rin – because He loves us all (click John 3:16). Even before we decide what we’d do with God, He decided what He’d do with us (click Ephesians 1:4-6). It was a choice to die for love; it is still a choice to continue loving, to continue fighting for the hearts of men who betray Him every single day.
We may not always know or understand why God does things His way. But that’s because He’s God and we’re not. He’s infinite and our human minds can only grasp a bit of Him. It’s because His ways are higher than ours, and His thoughts higher than ours (click Isaiah 55:8-9). So I guess, He sees something in me, in these people, in our country, in all of us on this planet – He sees something that our eyes cannot see – something worth fighting for, something worth dying for. Not in us, not the “good” things we do, because all of us have sinned one time or another (click Romans 3:23; click Ephesians 2:8-9). But He chooses to love us nevertheless; He sees our standing with Him in a different perspective, that we can still be saved and be clean again and start anew.
He always sees the bigger picture, and that also tells us that He, in His goodness, knows what He’s doing (click Romans 8:28). He has good plans and futures for all of us, it just depends on whether we’re gonna trust Him to lay it out or not (click Jeremiah 29:11-13). Trust. Most of the time means believing without seeing. More so with Someone we cannot “see”. But that’s why it’s called faith – believing (not just intellectual consent, but with action) before seeing – being sure of what we do not yet see (click Hebrews 11:1-6). Just like Noah. Didn’t even see rain or any sign of it when he obeyed God and built the ark, right?
Hmm. Ang hirap mamuhay tulad n’ung sabi ni Paul na “live by faith, not by sight” dito sa Pilipinas (click 2 Corinthians 5:7). In fact, mahirap ‘yun, period – regardless of place. Sa mga nakita ko pa lang this afternoon, nangungulit na sa utak ko y’ung words na “not worth fighting for” e. But God begs to disagree. Mahirap talaga, really seems impossible whenever I think about it. Sabi nga n’ung mga disciples ni Jesus, “Who then can be saved?” Pero anong sagot ni Jesus? “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible (click Matthew 19:25-26)." Haha. Just like our class cheer. Haha.
“Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed... he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead... Yet he did not waver through unbelief... being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what He had promised.”
Hmm. I think this entry needs a long introduction. I just want to share this song to people. Yes, I know, it’s another song. But I think people need this message more than any literary work I can conjure, especially in these hard times. I hope this post ministers to those who need comfort, encouragement, and renewed strength. If you want to listen to the song, click HERE.
I dedicate this song to:
People (my fellow Filipinos, and those in Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia) who suffered losses and are still suffering from the recent Typhoon Ondoy and the floods and landslides that followed.
People who are now going through the second storm, the Typhoon Pepeng.
People who had been or are still in the midst of a storm in their lives, even when the sun is bright and others don’t see what they’re going through.
My heart goes out to you, aches and mourns with you. May we all find refuge from the storms in our lives, literally and figuratively.
That day when evening came, He said to His disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." Leaving the crowd behind, they took Him along, just as He was, in the boat. There were also other boats with Him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
He said to His disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"
They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him!"
...if My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God*. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
- Isaiah 41: 10
*He is with us… IF He is our God… IF we put Him first in every aspect of our lives… I wrote this here not to judge or condemn, but to emphasize it, that we have a choice, and we have to make a choice; so that it's not sugar-coated, so that it's clear and true.
WARNING: Mushiness alert! Mushiness alert! Retreat from here if you cringe at mushiness lest you want to suffer utterly from severe cringing. Hahaha. You have been warned.
Hahaha. Gumising ako nang 8 a.m., nag-quiet-time, ‘tapos nag-breakfast nang 9 a.m., ‘tapos natulog uli ako ng 10 a.m. ‘Pag gising ko, 3 p.m. na! Wahahahahaha! Laftrip, nasayang y’ung buong umaga. Hahaha. Sobrang inaantok talaga ako at hindi makabangon. Hindi na ‘ko naka-lunch! Nag-merienda na lang ako ng fruit salad. Hahaha. Found a quicker way of preparing it. Haha. Pero praise God din for the rest, I really needed it. So hindi rin talaga saying y’ung araw. Haha.
Anyway, back to the main point of this entry. The following is a song I heard just this Wednesday, and I’ve been really stopping myself from blogging about it, ‘cause I know it’ll take too much time and I won’t be able to study for Friday’s exam! Hahaha. So ngayon, p’wede nang mag-blog! Hahaha. In Tin’s words, “pent-up emo-ness”. Hehe. Habang hindi pa ako nakakasulat ulit about this, puro songs muna, I guess. I miss writing though. I miss the days when I still have time to ponder about these things. Haaay.
Haha. Grabe ba sa kaka-highlight? Hahaha. Wala lang. Natuwa lang ako (at kinilig rin) at the thought na may naghihintay rin nga pala sa akin, at kapareho ko siya mag-isip at magmahal… Hay… And yes, other people may not understand why I find these things sweet and passionate. I don’t hold it against them. But I think this is the best way to love my wife, even in my singleness… Finding, meeting, and pursuing her is another story; that, I leave in the hands of the most creative Writer I’ve ever known. In this big dream I refuse to give up, I see no other way to pull it off than to trust Him with my whole life…
Goodness, lalo akong ginanahan maghintay. Haha. I’ll risk these years of waiting and being still, and seemingly missing out on a lot… I’m so excited to meet you…
What comes to mind when we hear the word “holy”? God – that He is too “holy” to laugh with us or care about the trivial things in our lives? Church – that we should be “holy” like everyone else in the congregation is trying to be, because we’re in church? Sundays – that, at least, on one day every week we should be “holy”, and so that we can start the week right? Does the concept of “holiness” repulse us, or make us feel bored because “we know about it already” or offended because “no one is perfect anyway”? If that is the case, then we have missed the whole point of the gospel.
“Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do;for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’ Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear.For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers,but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake.Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God. Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.For, ‘All men are like grass,and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;the grass withers and the flowers fall,but the word of the Lord stands forever.’And this is the word that was preached to you.” – 1 Peter 1:13-25
This was the message in the special gathering of DYXPG in the month of May. Our brother, Greeko Villanueva, testified of his previous life, how he in arrogance was lured back to a lifestyle of sin even after he got born again in the Lord, and how the Lord reminded him what it is to be victorious and redeemed him again from that life. This is a pretty common story among us, but do we really understand what it is to be saved by grace through faith in Christ?
A lifestyle of holiness should be what sets us apart from the rest of the world. Yes, to be saved by grace through faith in Christ happens only once and guarantees an eternity in heaven even as we continue to live in this world and at times stumble and fall. But if we continue to blend in with the rest of the world, reveling in the pleasures of sin and darkness, taking His precious grace for leniency, then what did Jesus save us for? Yes, Jesus loves us too much not to allow us a way out of the mess we’re in, should we choose to take it, and so He chose to die in our place on the cross. But does it end there? Are we humans so important that God had to die and go to hell for us? Is salvation our right? If that’s so, then what happened to grace – the undeserved favor by which we were all saved? We don’t deserve His sacrifice. So is God in need of us and for this reason saved us? But if God is in need of anything or anyone, then He is not God at all, so this is not it. Nothing man can do will ever diminish the glory of God, because He will be glorified either by our salvation or by our damnation. So we go back to the question – what did Jesus save us for?
Jesus died on the cross with one purpose in mind – His Father’s glory – that in revealing His glory through His death He may save and set apart for Himself a holy multitude that would forever be with Him and glorify Him in return (Revelations 7:9-10). He wants to us to be with Him forever. He yearns to have fellowship with us. And if we are to be with God in eternity, we must be holy, because He, in His holiness (which, by the way, is normal for Him because He is, after all, God) cannot stand even the slightest hint of sin in His presence. So we hear the command, “Be holy, because I am holy.” If we truly understood our sinful and wretched state before we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior, and what we are to gain by submitting ourselves to Him, then pursuing God’s righteousness (Matthew 6:33) – His holiness – is the only logical thing to do. And this starts with repentance, turning our backs determinedly from sin, and choosing to follow Jesus instead.
“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.” – Galatians 5:16-18
I speak to those who are called Christians – followers of Christ – not in words, but in lifestyle. We are called to be salt in the stale places, and to be light in the dark places (Matthew 5: 13-16). We should not allow ourselves to be lax and accept our own excuses so we can blend in with the rest of the world, where it is more convenient, where it is more acceptable, where it is safe from persecution. Remember, holiness is an all-or-none thing; we are called to “be holy in ALL we do” (1 Peter 1:15), whether we are at home, or in school, or at work, even when we are relaxing. We are not performing on stage, trying to please people, but we only have an audience of One, so we don’t have to be afraid of being radical and going against the way the world has long been used to. The Man we follow was never afraid to leave His comfort zone, to be seen by every eye, to be heard by every ear, even as the hammer struck the nails over and over. “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). And that is what will make all the difference.
* This article was written for the Second Quarter issue of Heaven's Quill, DYXPG's newsletter.